


burst forth thy camellias

by seabunnies



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Church Route, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Church Route Spoilers, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Multi, Pining, Romance, also assume that every student except main lord and retainer minus hilda gets recruited LOL, theres other ships aside from the main pair but its not worth tagging lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:21:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23311537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seabunnies/pseuds/seabunnies
Summary: He coughs and coughs andcoughs really hard, and out from his lips, spills out three red petals.Camellias, he recognizes immediately.Though it’s not just the flowers Seteth recognizes, but the circumstances of what is happening to him. This damned...curse or something, that he’s seen on a rare occasion in his lifetime. It’s got a hold of him, and unluckily, he knows why he’s feeling like this.Whomakes him feel like this.Seteth is so,soscrewed..Seteth suffers the Hanahaki Disease, stubbornly tries to hide it away, and ends up suffering even more.
Relationships: My Unit | Byleth/Seteth
Comments: 14
Kudos: 65





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i played fe3h. i love fe3h. i especially love seteth (and dimitri and dorothea lol) and i want to make a fic about my fave ship w/ him. its setleth time! this was originally supposed to be a one-shot but i got a bit too enthusiastic w/ how i wanted this fic to go so its (possibly) going to be 4 chaps long! hooray!
> 
> some things to note about this fic b4 u read the fic:  
> \- this fic's byleth is female bc i love her and i love girls  
> \- other ships in this story are dorogrid and linspar! theyre not tagged bc theyre not going to get much focus. theres also another ship, but...well, you'll see what it is for the next chapter!  
> \- tw at the end of the fic, uhh, coughing description ig? actually this fic would have some of those bc. yknow. Hanahaki. but just a warning if u may not find smth like that comfortable for you!
> 
> this fic is dedicated to all my friends, who had to bear with me for the past two weeks crying over fe3h and seteth and dimitri and just. This Game Is So Good.

❀

The monastery days finally fall back to the serene, familiar pattern that Seteth had become accustomed to since his arrival many years ago. The busy buzz of students running about as they talk about their mundane school life, the two certain faculty members finally talking (bickering) with each other once again, and the knights standing guard at their usual spot instead of the high alert he had seen them pose the past month. What’s especially important, was that all the worry that had once flushed his face of any color had finally subsided with the return of Flayn in his arms.

He remembers holding her unconscious form after Byleth and the Black Eagles had found her in Jeritza’s room, thankfully unhurt, and his body trembling from both happiness and the worry finally washing away that had affected his morale the entire month. He felt the warm hand of the Professor touching his shoulder, and though her expression remained stoic, he knew that she is here because she cares about Flayn, to reassure him even when the evidence is right there, that Flayn is alright and well. And she is not wrong, because Flayn awakens after a few moments, and her expressions shift from tiredness, to surprise, and finally to happiness as she sees the relieved face of her brother, the professor, and the Black Eagles class. She shouts gleefully for her brother and embraces him in a warm hug, one that Seteth really needed and happily returns.

He speaks to Byleth the next night after Flayn’s return, expressing his gratitude to her for rescuing his sister but also concerned that if they were to continue staying here, her life could be in grave danger. However Flayn had intervened in their conversation, and pleaded for them to stay in the monastery. She spoke her wish to join Byleth’s class, with the assurance that the older woman would keep her safe. Seteth, unable to say no while also finding himself unable to distrust Byleth anymore, accepts her proposal, and Byleth assures him with a nod that she will do everything within her power to keep Flayn happy and safe.

It had been two weeks since then, and although he only sees Flayn during the school break hours and nighttime since joining the Black Eagles class nowadays, every opportunity they do get to see each other is filled with Flayn’s stories of the classes she took that day and the activities she did with her classmates. From taking study sessions with Ferdinand and Petra, to spending teatime with Dorothea and Caspar. But quite interestingly, Flayn spends a lot of time with the professor as well, whether it was for extra study lessons to snack time in the dining hall.

Seteth’s thoughts turn back to the paperwork sprawled out in front of him and he scratches his head in frustration at the heavy pile before him. The job of the archbishop’s right hand man is never easy, and the proof is right there before his very eyes. He can even feel his lower body ache from sitting for too long. He huffs out disappointingly, knowing that now is the time to call for a break, even if he wants to stay a little longer and finish up today’s paperwork. Seteth stands up from his chair, doing a few easy stretches, and heads out of his office to take a relaxing stroll around the monastery.

It was a beautiful, cloudy afternoon in the monastery. The wind is cool to the touch as it breezes by Seteth’s cheek, but it’s also calming enough that he can understand why he sees many students outside either playing board games on the grass, sketching in their sketchbooks, or knitting scarves for the upcoming winter season. Normally, he would scold them for not spending this time to study or training, but today is an off day for the students, hence his more lax treatment towards them.

He passes by the empty classrooms of the three houses, the dining hall which is filled to the brim with students and some of the staff working in the monastery, and out to the area where the greenhouse and pier are located. The familiar scent of fish makes him nostalgic unsurprisingly, reminding him of even simpler times. But now isn’t the time to reminiscence of what had been, as his eyes to something...quite surprising. As he heads closer and closer to the pier, he sees two familiar figures sitting at the edge, holding onto fishing rods as they wait for their catch to come for their baits in the water. It’s Flayn and Byleth, with the former talking about something he can’t hear, while the latter quietly listens to her chatting away, a slight smile curved on her lips.

Curious, Seteth walks up to them from behind, and upon setting foot onto the wooden platform, both Flayn and Byleth turn around to see the older man heading for their direction. Flayn’s face lightens up to a smile, while Byleth stares at him, half looking at him like she’s analyzing him but also in awe to see him here of all places.

“Brother, good afternoon!” Flayn greets him happily, “What brings you here?”

Seteth gives her a fond smile, “Ah, I’m just here to take a stroll around the monastery. How are you? I’m surprised to see that you’re out fishing with the Professor.”

Flayn’s lips curve to an elated grin, “That’s because she loves fishing! And we usually spend our time fishing here in the pier during the off days, don’t we, Professor?”

Byleth only nods as a reply, and before Seteth could inquire about how Flayn is doing in her classes, the professor feels a forceful tug on her fishing rod. 

Immediately, her grip on the rod tightens, and the duo watch in awe as she stands up and pulls on her rod with a mighty force. The strength of her pull causes whatever had caught her bait to splash out of the water and fly up to the sky, still attached to the string on the rod. Neither Seteth nor Flayn can’t take their eyes away from the scene before them, their mouths left agape. Byleth raises her arms up to the sky, and a gigantic fish lands on her arms with a squishy thud.

“You caught a bullhead!” Flayn exclaims excitedly, scrambling as she stands up to get a closer look at the fish in the professor’s arms, her fishing rod left to the side and forgotten. Byleth nods once again and smiles, although a bit more wider than the one Seteth had seen her have earlier. 

Seteth stands still in place, left in awe by how good (and surprisingly...cool) she was during the whole ordeal of her catching the bullhead. He finally shuts his mouth close after a few more moments, before turning to face the two who now seem to be focused on discussing...dinner plans?

“This bullhead would be a great meal for dinner! Don’t you think so, Professor?” Flayns asks excitedly, tugging on the side of Byleth’s coat.

Byleth seems to be unbothered by Flayn’s excitement, but she continues to smile at her and it somehow radiates brightly that it blinds Seteth. It was a rare occasion to see the almost always stoic professor smiling, even more so multiple times in one day. Flayn must be blessed because she seems to have the most opportunities to see her smile everyday, and if it makes Flayn happy to spend time with the professor and have more chances to see the professor smiling, then Seteth is happy too.

“Brother!” Flayn calls out to Seteth with the tap of his shoulder. He looks up to see that Byleth is now heading for the stairs to the dining hall, and Flayn is beside him with an excited expression on her face, “The Professor and I will be heading to the dining hall to cook dinner. Although I have no confidence in my cooking skills, I am curious to see how the Professor prepares the dish. Will you be heading back to work?”

“Yes, Flayn. I really don’t plan to stay here for so long.” Seteth explains to her, and Flayn nods.

“That’s quite alright. I will see you during dinner then! I promise to give you one of the meals cooked by the Professor and I. Farewell!” 

Flayn waves to her brother goodbye and turns to follow the Professor, who is waiting for her by the steps, the fish still being held tightly in her arms. Seteth watches as Flayn and Byleth head for the dining hall and disappear from the door. 

With the two out of his sight, he feels his lips tug to a sincere smile, elated to see that Flayn is enjoying her time in the monastery. Surprisingly, he is also glad to see that Byleth is changing as well. Since the first time they had come eye to eye, he had doubts about her presence and her very nature. She is stoic, quiet, and very...unreadable, it was almost scary. But over time in the past months, he finds himself watching her slowly change in the most subtle ways. A slight curve on her lips to form a smile or frown, her eyes widening in surprise or softening in sympathy, and the occasional small gestures from a head pat or a wave. It was...nice to see her beginning to express herself more, and even Jeralt says so one time when he found himself eating lunch with him as company.

Seteth begins to walk once more, satisfied with his stroll around the monastery today. However he decides to pass by the monastery’s greenhouse, admiring the flowers and greenery all around him and wanting to take in a bit of the beauty of nature, before returning to work.

❀

Dinner time comes just as Seteth finishes his huge load of paperwork for the day. He hears the rumbling grumble of his stomach, signalling his now apparent hunger for food. He fixes the contents on his desk and office quickly, setting aside unneeded files and letters from the other priests from all around Fodlan. He finally finishes up, and satisfied with the cleanliness of his office, he heads out for the dining hall. 

The moment Seteth sets foot in the entrance of the dining hall to partake in dinner, he is greeted by Flayn’s cheery demeanor. Beside her, he sees Byleth holding a tray of what seems to be Swift Fish Gratin, which he assumes was cooked from the Bullhead that Byleth had caught earlier this afternoon.

“Good evening, Brother.” Flayn greets him, “Like I promised, here’s the meal the Professor and I cooked. I hope you enjoy it!” 

Byleth hands him the dish, and Seteth can already smell how delicious it would be. He can feel his hunger worsening, but he pushes it back deep in the recesses of his mind. With a soft smile, his hands reach out for the dish in Byleth’s hand and he accepts it, “Thank you, Professor.”

She only nods in response, but there’s a smile etched on her face when she does so. _There it is again_ , he thinks to himself. Flayn waves him farewell once again, and the two walk back together to one of the tables, which Seteth notices to be occupied by the Black Eagles class. He watches them take their seats, with their meals already placed on the table in front of them and already engaged in conversation with the rest of the class.

Satisfied with the thought that Flayn will have a fulfilling dinner with her classmates and professor, Seteth makes his way to the table where the other faculty and some of the members of the Knights of Seiros. 

He spots the familiar tall figures of Hanneman and Manuela who are, as he comes closer, bickering once again. Probably about how creepy Hanneman’s Crest research is, which...Seteth can’t really fault Manuela for thinking that. Seteth groans internally as he sits down, unfortunately with the furious Hanneman whose attention is all on Manuela on his left, and slightly fortunately, with the happy Catherine on his right, who is busy engaging in a conversation about battle tactics with Shamir. Sitting across from him, Alois tries to lighten up the mood between the arguing professors, his hands shaking the infuriated Manuela’s shoulders who is sitting next to him, in hopes to calm her down.

Ignoring the ongoing fight beside him, Seteth mumbles a short prayer of thanks before digging in. He takes a spoonful of the gratin and as soon as he takes in a bite, his eyes widen in surprise. It...tastes good, really _really_ good. The cheesy flavor of the gratin blends well with the fish and leaves a rich taste in his mouth. Seteth takes in another spoonful, and his taste buds explode at how much more flavorful it is than the first time. The cooking of the meal is wonderful, both Byleth and Flayn have outdone themselves with the meal.

His eyes peer over to the table at the other side of the room, watching the Black Eagles’ table growing lively with their shenanigans. He sees Byleth and Edelgard, conversing about something with a map laid out on the table. Seteth assumes that they are talking about their tactics for the next mission, which happens to be the annual Battle of the Eagle and Lion. Hubert sits beside Edelgard as usual, silently listening to them and sometimes chiming in to the conversation as well. He sees Caspar, who is fooling around with a mouthful of food and Linhardt seemingly trying to calm him down. There is Petra, who is conversing with Flayn about something, and Seteth assumes it’s about the meal she cooked with Byleth, because Petra’s finger is pointing at it. Lastly, he sees Ferdinand who is (unknowingly to him) pestering Dorothea once again, and with Dorothea’s obvious unamused expression, she just wants to enjoy her meal in peace. All in all, the activity in the Black Eagles house is the same as always. 

Seteth’s gaze falls back once more on Byleth, who remains stoic throughout her conversation with the next emperor of the Adrestrian Empire and her right hand man. When Edelgard stops talking to focus on eating her meal for a brief moment, Byleth turns her head and she catches Seteth’s gaze on her.

For a moment, their eyes lock on each other, green eyes staring back at blue, before Byleth smiles ( _smiles, it’s a beautiful smile_ ), and waves her hand to him. The tips of his ears heat up at the sudden gesture, but Seteth manages to return a wave to her. Happy with their brief interaction, Byleth’s expression turns neutral once more and she returns to conversing with her students.

Seteth resumes to eat his meal quickly, unsure why he’s gotten so...flustered over a smile from Byleth, the new professor, of all things. But he pushes away the thought of that smile into the depths of his mind. He finishes eating his meal as fast as he can, with Hanneman and Manuela _still_ fighting, their meals barely touched. Seteth grunts disappointingly over their immature behavior, and he stands up to put away his plate and tray so he can quickly leave the dining hall before anything more nonsensical happens.

❀

Despite all of the queasy feelings he has about her from his gut, Seteth finds himself drawn to her. 

Or rather, Byleth starts inviting him to meals or tea or choir practice more often, usually with Flayn tagging along. It’s gotten to the point that thrice a week, he would be invited by her to go fishing with her and Flayn, and he can’t deny that he has a great time fishing with them. Byleth is quite a formidable person when it comes to fishing, never failing to lose her catch no matter how strong the fish is in trying to pull away. And after every successful fishing day, he finds himself sharing a meal with them in the dining hall, feasting on their latest catch while also delighting himself in her cooking. 

And with each passing day, his trust in her continues to grow. He even trusts her enough to tell him of his true relationship with Flayn, his _daughter_ , and that is something he never thought he would tell a human. _Ever_.

Secretly, he thinks to himself, that he hopes that days like these would go on forever, where the three of them can just relax by the pier, fishing and talking about their day. But also, Seteth wishes to learn even more about the professor, who still remains a mystery to him no matter how much they bond everyday. He wants to unravel more of her secrets, to know what she likes and dislikes, or to know her dreams and fears. 

Unfortunately, now is not one of those days to relax and unwind, as the Millenium Festival has come, and with it, comes the night of merriment and festivities. The orchestra’s music resound all around the ballroom, a call for the students to dance. 

In all honesty, Seteth isn’t one to participate on occasions like these, as if you try to look for him, you’ll just end up spotting him at the corner of the room, watching over all the excitement with a watchful eye. And although he is supposed to keep watch, he can’t help but turn his gaze often to a happy Flayn, who is dancing with Byleth, with the latter taking careful steps as she helps lead Flayn around. When he sees Flayn’s smile as she twirls around gracefully with Byleth, he can’t help but let a smile form on his own lips. Being able to see Flayn happy and smiling is one of his joys, and Byleth does a good job in making sure she always does. 

When they finish dancing, Flayn is still bountiful with energy. Seteth watches as she makes quick footsteps for the buffet table, where many different types of food are being served. Meanwhile, Byleth blends back into the background, though Seteth can still see her dark blue green hair bouncing through the crowd and exiting out of the ballroom.

 _Huh, where is she running off to?_ , Seteth ponders.

Both curious and worried about where she had gone, he finds himself following her path to wherever she’s run off to. He takes small and quiet steps as he trails after her figure, worried that he may scare her off if he would be loud. They pass through the too eerily quiet monastery blanketed in the night, with the stars twinkling above them.

Byleth’s path leads him to the Goddess Tower, and Seteth finds it odd. But he shrugs it off and follows her inside with the intent to figure out her purpose for entering. He remains quiet as he climbs up the stone staircase, and upon reaching the top floor, he finds her all alone. She looks out at the wide window from the tower, overlooking the monastery below. It’s obvious to see where the ball is taking place, as the building’s window ceiling is illuminated by it’s bright light. But the lone, lively building aside, the moon shines brightly tonight, it’s light shining on the professor’s stoic face. 

Seteth’s breath hitches at the sight, and a squeak is heard, which catches Byleth’s attention. She turns to face the archbishop’s right hand man, a surprised expression etched on her face.

“Professor.” Seteth coughs out, “Forgive my intrusion, I simply saw you leaving the ball and I was curious to where you would go. I didn’t think you would be in the Goddess Tower, of all places.”

Byleth’s expression remains shocked before she speaks up, “...You won’t scold me, will you?”

Seteth chuckles and shakes his head, “Usually, yes. But I will make an exception tonight. Do not fret over it.”

A sigh of relief leaves her breath and she smiles gratefully at him, which somehow leaves Seteth breathless for a moment. The way the moonlight illuminates over her smiling face, was...mesmerizing, to say the least. He can feel his cheeks burn up, and he hopes quietly that Byleth can’t see him making such a shameful expression. 

Like always, he buries up that blush, his thoughts, deep inside his mind, and masks it with a more confident expression.

“Actually, Profes—no, Byleth, I…” He starts to speak up again, and he can feel the professor’s gaze on him, “...would like to thank you. For taking care of Flayn, and how I’m glad to have gotten to know you more. Honestly, I had my doubts, but I am glad that I was wronged. You have proven yourself to not only be a trustworthy ally, but also...a friend.”

Byleth’s eyes widen for a moment, and Seteth worries that what he said may have been a little too much. But her lips curve to a lip, her eyes soften as she looks at Seteth with a fondness he never knew she would have.

“Seteth, I’m glad too. To have been...your friend.” 

Seteth’s heart soars, happy to hear those words from her. He nods and returns a joyful smile to her. Together, under the moonlight in the chilly winter night of the Millenium Festival, they stand together inside the Goddess Tower in silence, looking out beyond the gates of the monastery and onto the forested area beyond. In the depths of Seteth’s mind, he quietly hopes once more for more peaceful days like these.

❀

But of course, nothing happy lasts forever. It all happens too quickly, too fast, that there’s no time to comprehend what happens.

At the end of the Ethereal Moon, Byleth’s father, Jeralt, is killed, and she remains closed off from the world for the month after. 

Seteth barely sees her or gets to spend time with her during that month, and Flayn as well, who spends the month instead with either Seteth or her classmates. However, her cheery demeanor is lost when she spends time with them, and Seteth can’t deny that his morale had gone low as well.

At the end of the Guardian Moon, Byleth finds the young girl responsible for killing her father, but at the price of her dark blue-green hair changing to a pale green color, her purple eyes changed to a forest green color. 

The moment she sets foot back to the monastery after returning from her mission, she gets bombarded with questions, questions, and even more questions from various students and even the members of the church over the new change of her hair. Seteth is skeptical over the change, and inquiries Rhea over it, but is only brushed off from his advances. So he snoops around, finding clues and hints on what could have caused her to change, not realizing that he hasn’t spent much time with Byleth because of it.

At the end of the Pegasus Moon, the Flame Emperor reveals herself to be Edelgard and betrays the entire class and the Church of Seiros, instigating a war against her once-were allies. 

Amongst the chaos and war preparation, Seteth notices the worry over Byleth’s face, and wonders if it’s because she is going to fight Edelgard, her former student and probably someone she trusted so much.

At the end of the Lone Moon, Seteth and Byleth go to battle to protect the monastery from Edelgard’s army. 

Before the start of the battle, Seteth reaches out for Byleth’s arm just as they leave for the battle ground, a worried expression etched on his face. He’s not sure himself why he did that, really, but he feels like he should say something, anything, before they face the beginning of a war.

“Professor, I...apologize for not being able to bond with you as much as you would like to in the past months.” Seteth begins, “But, I vow to be by your side from now on, and as such, I also vow to protect you in this battle. _I promise_.”

He hopes Byleth doesn’t notice the sort of seriousness in his tone when he makes the promise, and she probably didn’t, as Byleth smiles at him the same sweet smile she always gives him, “Thank you, Seteth.”

What Seteth doesn’t realize till later, as he watches her fall down from the deep canyon below her, that that would be the last time he would see her smile for a very long time. His face grows somber and furious at himself, realizing that he had failed his promise to protect her. And now she’s gone and _hopefully not dead_ and he mulls over how he had failed to protect someone he had deeply cared about.

_Again._

❀

And so, the years go by in a blur.

Fodlan falls into war, with the three kingdoms fallen under the discord of it all. The Adrestian Empire has taken up most of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus, while the Leicester Alliance is on the verge of collapse over the divided opinion between those who support Edelgard and those who don’t.

Seteth finds himself back in the monastery, with Flayn in tow to look for something she had lost in the Holy Mausoleum. The man stands at the front of what once was the church altar, now ruined to shambles with piles of debris scattered around, waiting for his sister to return before heading back on the road to search for Rhea’s whereabouts.

He suddenly hears footsteps from behind him and alerted by the sound, he turns around ready to confront whoever has decided to come for him. But all the wariness he had washes away, as the familiar shocked face of Byleth greets him. His expression softens for a moment, then shifts quickly to surprise as well, and all the frustration over himself and worry over the professor he had felt during the past five years dissipates with just one look.

“Professor! You’re...alive?!” Seteth inquires with worry seeping through his tone.

“Yes, I...was asleep, for the past five years, I think.” Byleth tells him, obviously unsure if what she was saying was right, “It’s hard to explain in all honesty, I apologize.”

“No, please don’t apologize.” Seteth shakes his head and smiles at her, “I’m just...overjoyed, really, to see that you are alive and well. Flayn and I have worried about you for years, and to see that our worries are finally washed away seeing that you are actually here.”

Before more can be said, their little reunion gets interrupted by one of the guards that Seteth brought along with him and Flayn to the monastery informing them of bandits that were hiding in the Garreg Mach grounds below the monastery, stealing treasure and now running away with the treasure in tow. The two make their way to the area, with the intent to defeat the thieves and take back the stolen treasure. 

Along the way, they receive unexpected help from the other Black Eagles students, who have returned to the monastery with the intent to fulfill the promise they made exactly five years ago today.

They successfully round up the bandits, and upon settling down, the Black Eagles of the Year 1181 reunite together in a warm embrace, with Byleth in the center of it all. Dorothea is in tears over the professor’s return, both Ferdinand and Petra proclaim her return as a miracle, Caspar is giving the tightest hug to the professor, and both Linhardt and Bernadetta express their happiness with a simple hug and smile. A little later, Seteth takes Byleth to see Flayn. The moment Flayn sees the professor, alive and well, she immediately pounces on her in an embrace, overjoyed to see her after years of longing. Byleth returns the hug, a sweet smile on her lips over the joy of seeing her favorite student.

“Professor, you’re alive!” Flayn exclaims happily, “Oh, thank the goddess.”

“I’m glad to see that you’re safe too, Flayn.” Byleth pats her head, her expression soft over the sight of a happy Flayn. Seteth stands by their side, overjoyed to see her daughter smiling once again and for the professor’s return. 

❀

“Seteth?”

The man in question turns around to face the source of the familiar voice. He sees Byleth standing behind him, a smile curved on her lips and looking at Seteth with sincere eyes. His hand is already at the door knob to his room, with the intent to finally rest after spending all afternoon and evening catching up with the professor and her allies on the situation at hand, but he can spare a few minutes to have a quiet moment with her.

“Professor, what is the matter?” Seteth inquires.

Byleth shakes her head, “Nothing, none at all. I would just like to...thank you, for being here with me. I’m glad to have you by my side.”

 _I’m glad to have you by my side,_ the words repeat in his head.

Seteth can feel his cheeks heating up again, but he quickly flushes it down with the shake of his head, “No, please, let _me_ thank you. It’s a miracle that you are here with us, to have you come back here after your five year long slumber, and for you to choose to be with us once again.”

Byleth’s eyes widen at the sincerity of his words, and she lets out a chuckle ( _a chuckle_ ) and her smile widens.

“Well, I’m glad. I never...go back to what I believe in, and I believe in you, and Flayn, and to protect my students and all the friends I made in the monastery.” She briefly frowns over her next words, “Though it is regrettable that we must fight Edelgard and Hubert, and if there is a way we can somehow have them back, I would be glad. But...for now, we must do what we must.”

She faces Seteth once more, her smile returning to her lips, “Well, that is all I wish to speak with you. Good night, Seteth.”

Seteth nods, “Alright, good night Professor.”

He watches her form walk away to the staircase, possibly intending to return to her room for the night, until she disappears down the stairs and her footsteps no longer resound the halls. Seteth turns to the door to his sleeping quarters, entering quietly and locking the door after he steps inside. The smell of lavender greets his nostrils, possibly coming from the scents that Flayn had sprayed on his quarters when they had arrived. 

He takes off his boots and changes into more comfortable clothes for the night, a simple white tunic made from soft cotton. He climbs onto bed and finally lays down for the night, the feeling of the soft mattress comforting his aching body after a long day of walking to the monastery and battling. In the silence of his room, he begins to ponder over the events of today.

Of all the things he had expected to happen upon his arrival in Garreg Mach, what he didn’t anticipate was Byleth’s return. Though the circumstances of where she had been the past five years still remain a mystery to both of you, her return was truly a miracle.

He had despaired over the loss of her, but with her return, Seteth can bring himself to smile again. Flayn as well is happy to have her back, and of course, her students and those in the Knights of Seiros are as well. Morale has boosted since her return, and he’s sure, deep in his heart, that with her return they can finally have a chance against the Empire.

Who knew that once upon a time, he had distrusted her so much, found himself disgusted at the thought of her presence in the monastery and wished for Rhea to have a better candidate for a professor. But oh, how wrong Seteth was, as Byleth had proven time and time again that she was a worthy ally to them all, and it was especially true when she had rescued Flayn back then from the hands of the Death Knight.

Seteth smiles to himself at the thought of the professor, his cheeks reddening and his heartbeat racing. Having her around truly makes his heart go alight. He trusts her deeply, he cares for her deeply, he…

...suddenly feels something itching on his throat.

Seteth sits up abruptly from his bed and begins to cough. 

He clutches one hand tightly onto the soft, white blanket of his bed, his other hand grasping onto his neck as he feels an odd bump on his Adam’s apple. His throat burns up, the feeling of something soft but oh-so-badly-choking-him rising from within. It stupidly hurts for some reason, and Seteth feels so sick and _Goddess, why is this happening_?! 

He coughs and coughs and _coughs really hard_ , and out from his lips, spills out three red petals. _Camellias_ , he recognizes immediately.

Though it’s not just the flowers Seteth recognizes, but the circumstances of what is happening to him. This damned...curse or something, that he’s seen on a rare occasion in his lifetime. It’s got a hold of him, and unluckily, he knows why he’s feeling like this. _Who_ makes him feel like this.

Seteth is so, _so_ screwed.

❀

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! the next chapter should be up (hopefully) in a week or earlier if i'm not lazy LOL. also the 4 chapters thing is mainly tentative...i may increase/decrease it depending on if end up writing more or less of what i want for the fic LMAO
> 
> kudos, bookmarks, comments, and the like are highly appreciated! thank u and see u in the next chapter~
> 
> also feel free to follow my twit, lets talk a lot about fe3h and setleth pls! @neatocherries


	2. Silent Oath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seteth lightens the tight grip on his fist, revealing the now crumpled handful of red petals in his fist. He thinks of Byleth, her smile, her beautiful face, her mesmerizing (formerly purple) green eyes, and he huffs disappointedly. He can’t tell her anything, he absolutely can’t. His hand curls once more into a fist, crushing the red petals within.
> 
> “She doesn’t love me.” He mumbles to no one but himself, “She doesn’t.”

❀

“Camellias,” A soft voice speaks up, pointing to the small bed of camellias planted in the soil, “They symbolize admiration and affection, but these red ones...um, they represent strong love and passion.”

“Oooh! That’s quite interesting, Marianne.” Another voice praises her with his sweet, signature smile, “You are very knowledgeable on the topic of flowers and nature in general. That is very admirable!”

“Thank you, Ferdinand…” Marianne’s smile is small but it radiates an optimism that is usually unseen from her.

“Please, do tell me more about these flowers.” Ferdinand’s enthusiasm overflows as he eyes each of the flowers blooming before them, “I would love nothing more than to learn much of these blossoms with you by my side.”

“Um, well…” Marianne begins to explain more about the flowers, but their voices have become hushed so their noise wouldn’t overflow throughout the greenhouse. But one could tell that Ferdinand seems delighted to be learning more about the flowers found in the monastery, and Marianne is happy to have someone she can share her knowledge about flowers with.

Unbeknownst to the two, a lone figure tends to the growing fruits and vegetables at the other side of the greenhouse. The moment he had heard the flower that Ferdinand wanted to inquire about, he had stopped all action within him and had just froze in his spot right then and there. He can feel the tips of his ears warming up, and his body trembling at the reminder of what those flowers are, what they mean to him.

When the two students had finally fallen into a quiet conversation about the language of flowers, Seteth waters the rest of the fruits and vegetables quickly, before departing the area briskly, but not before bidding farewell to the gardener in charge in fully taking care and maintaining the greenhouse.

❀

For the past week, Seteth had spent a good majority of the week distracted over this...disease that had cursed him because of these... _unwanted_ feelings for the professor.

When Byleth appears before him, a gentle smile and sincere acknowledgement of his presence, before sinking themselves into long discussions of war tactics and recaps of what is happening over in the different lands in Fodlan, he can feel the petals within him scratch at his throat, like begging in a desperate attempt to burst out from his mouth. Majority of the time, Seteth finds it easy to control his coughing fits. He can hold a petal or two inside, but sometimes it just hurts so much that he needs to get away from her, away from anyone really, and cough them out. The red petals erupt from within, staining his hands as a reminder of it’s meaning, the implications of it all.

After his first sleepless night surrounded by the red camellia petals, Seteth immediately heads for the library to research more about the disease. He quickly finds a book about the different illnesses known in Fodlan, and leaves through the pages until he spots a page that piques his interest. 

“The Flower Storm.” Seteth begins to read in a whisper, “A rare disease estimated to appear every few years or even decades. Reports about the illness are very rare, or with the reports that do exist, only contain minimal information about it.”

 _Not off to a great start_ , Seteth sighs disappointedly.

He skims through the summary and symptoms of the disease, as he’s already aware of what it is already. An illness that blossoms due to feelings of... _romantic_ love towards someone. Symptoms include an itchy throat, shortness of breath, and of course, the coughing of petals, which slowly evolve to flower buds, and finally, to fully bloomed flowers.

Seteth’s eyes finally spot the words that he wanted to see. _Known Cures and Remedies_. However the moment his eyes move under, he finds a very short paragraph written below instead of the long sentences he wished to see. And he can understand why as he reads through the text.

_The best known way to cure the disease is to confess and have your feelings reciprocated. However, there is another method. Based on our findings, surgery on the chest can remove the root of the Flower Storm, which attaches itself at the lungs of a person. Only a certified doctor who has studied extensively on the disease can remove it however, but there seems to only be a very, very rare amount of them existing as of writing this text._

_Surgery_ , Seteth ponders. He knows it’s a risky move if he opts for that option, because having someone even dare to touch the inner workings of his body may result in the discovery that he himself actually isn’t human, that he is actually something more, that he’s lived a thousand more years than anyone he currently knows except his dearest daughter and Rhea.

So the idea of surgery is out of the picture, leaving him with the option to confess his feelings and a hope to have them returned by the professor. Seteth imagines the scenario in his head. The war has come to an end, and though they are tired and worn from the battle, there is still much to fix for the future. As Byleth and Seteth stand together in the Goddess Tower by themselves, pondering about their future after the war has ended, and pulling out a lovely ring, it’s emerald gem green and sparkling, and revealing to her how much he loves her, how he isn’t confessing out of a sense of duty, but because he truly does. Byleth, surprised and flustered to hear those words from him, accepts his confession with a soft smile.

That would be nice, to have your feelings of love towards another returned. Once upon a time, Seteth experienced all the aspects of a youthful and passionate love, and the proof of their love is seen in one, adorable Flayn. But now, his first love is buried deep in the sands of Rhodos Coast, sleeping peacefully for all eternity. He can never have her back, because she’s _dead_ and it’s all _his fault_ that she is. Deep inside his heart, he knows it himself more than anyone that he doesn’t deserve another chance of love.

 _Besides,_ it’s going to be detrimental to the war if Seteth would skirt around with his feelings for Byleth. There’s more things to worry about, like making sure there are enough soldiers to fight off the Empire’s very own, if they’re well-trained, well-fed, and actually feeling well, and if the idea of scouting around this area would be good so they can learn more about their enemy. There is way too much to worry about than a bunch of measly feelings.

Seteth decides that he’s going to die with this then, die alone surrounded by the blood red camellias that will soon overflow the inside of his body until he can no longer breathe. And if he’s going to die, then at least before his inevitable death, let him make the most out of this war. He will defeat Edelgard and all of those who side with her, find Rhea and bring her back to safety, and reform what he can of Fodlan after the war. Sure, Flayn will be sad due to his passing, but Byleth will be by her side when he will pass on. Seteth will entrust his duties to the two, very sure and trusting that they will do their job to fulfill what he couldn’t.

He thinks of Byleth once more, in the future where he’s dead, her somber expression overtaking her face upon the realization that he’s dead. It irritates him, because he vowed to protect her, to be by her side, and seeing her making such a face reminds him that he’s going to eternally break that promise very soon.

Seteth feels his throat itch once again, and he quickly coughs out whatever is irritating it. Of course, in his hand, is a singular red petal of a camellia. A reminder that time is short for him, to get going and return to his duties. He needs to forget his feelings, and lock them away inside deep in his heart.

_It’s not like she loves you. She doesn’t love you, get over it._

He scoffs quietly to himself, crushing the petal in his fist and throwing it away to the side and onto the library floor, and leaves the library to return to his duties once more. 

No one will care about seeing a random petal on the ground. His feelings mean nothing. _Nothing._

❀

For the rest of the month, Seteth finds the disease plaguing him to be in a stagnant progress. The petals he always coughs out only come in ones or fours at most, and only occurs whenever he thinks of the professor for too long. Whether her mood in his imagination is happy, sad, or frustrated even, the thought of her results in a short coughing fit to spout out the petals from his lips.

He supposes that it’s fine, because it’s not like he thinks of Byleth almost all the time even if they see each other everyday. It’s good because at least he hasn’t raised any suspicions about himself yet. No one, not especially her, should know of his condition. His thoughts focus more on the war at hand, training the former students and soldiers in preparation to partake in the battle before them. 

Together, hand in hand, they raise a banner that showcases the Crest of Flames. This is their ticket to the war, to slowly fight their way to Edelgard and take down her reign in the Adrestrian Empire once and for all.

Of course, immediately after their flag has been raised, a soldier comes in and reports that the Empire’s soldiers are coming to try and reclaim back the monastery. The former students and all of their soldiers quickly gather their weapons, from swords to tomes, and gather outside of the monastery gates, with the shared goal of protecting their beloved monastery from the claws of the Empire.

The battle is long and taxing and bloody. As his Spear of Assal pierces another enemy, soaking the tip with their blood, his gaze turns quickly to find Byleth in the battlefield. Her grip on the Sword of the Creator is tight, the tip already bloodied all over. Even her signature cloak and the cheek on her face contains blotches of blood. She flicks her sword, the weapon entangling into something like a whip, and she slashes it all around, the sword piercing and slicing whoever stands at it’s path. Her expression remains stoic, almost cold. But her eyes look like they tell a different story, like she’s almost...sympathetic.

Somehow, watching her fight is almost...hypnotic, intoxicating. It’s fierce, powerful, and though she looks expressionless, the one aspect of her he doesn’t particularly find himself fond of, it’s the way she moves and fights that keeps his eyes on her.

Seteth realizes too late that his far too long staring isn’t good, because he feels his throat itching once again. _Damn it, why now?!_ , he ponders to himself, and two petals fall out from his lips and to the grass below him. Amidst his recovery from the sudden coughing fit, he doesn’t realize that a flying enemy soldier has crept up behind him, and their axe, raised up high, swiftly slices through his—

Amidst his recovery from the sudden coughing fit, Seteth's eyes widen in surprise as he sees Byleth suddenly appear by his side, and he watches as her sword quickly slices through the chest of the enemy soldier behind him. He hopes internally that she didn’t see him coughing out the petals before coming over, but when they lock eyes, she looks at him with a look of relief instead of the shock he expected from her. Sweat is trickling down her forehead, like she somehow had exhausted a lot of energy in between the time seeing her and getting rescued by her.

Seteth mouths to her his gratitude for rescuing him, and Byleth only nods back before returning to battle. 

The battle ends with their victory, and gratefully they only suffered minimal damage. The more severely injured soldiers are taken to the infirmary, where the more experienced healers and doctors await for their presence, while the rest who aren’t as injured as them are healed by the rest of the healers who didn’t exhaust as much magic as needed during the battle.

Seteth had only suffered a bruise on the arm from the battle, thankfully. He approaches Mercedes almost immediately after the battle, with the intent to be healed as quickly as possible before Byleth would approach him. The woman’s sweet and soft voice incantates the spell for healing, her hand hovering over the bruise as she chants. It quickly heals, and Seteth thanks her with a sincere smile before heading out for his office.

But just as he wishes to get, it seems Byleth read his mind or some sort. He feels a familiar warmth grab hold of his hand, and when he turns around to face what it was, he sees the clearly mild, worried expression of Byleth. Her brows furrowed, her lips turned in a frown, and her eyes pooled with anxiety as they stared deep back into Seteth’s own. 

“Seteth.” Byleth speaks, the worry clear in her tone, “Are you alright? You seemed...distracted during the battle.”

“Yes.” Seteth answers, probably a bit too quickly, “I’m quite alright. Thank you again, by the way, for saving me.”

Her hold on his hand tightens and _goddess,_ Seteth can feel his cheeks heating up at the reminder of her warmth. He hopes Byleth won’t make a comment on it, the last thing he wants is to worry her, to let his feelings out and make her feel guilty because she can _never_ reciprocate them.

“Alright.” Byleth nods, “Just...please be more careful next time, please? I hope it’s alright for me to say this, but I don’t want you to die. I don’t want...to lose you.”

Seteth can feel his blush warming even more at her words, but he keeps his cool and firmly nods, “Of course. And I will speak the same, after all, I vowed to protect you and be by your side as well.”

Byleth smiles and finally lets go of her hold of Seteth’s hand. 

“Thank you. Now, I’ll be heading to have my wounds healed. See you, Seteth?”

Seteth smiles back, “Yes. See you.”

He watches her figure disappear for the direction of the infirmary, probably to find Mercedes or Marianne so they can heal her injuries. Once she’s finally gone, his smile disappears and he looks back to the hand wrapped moments before in Byleth’s warmth. Seteth cups his mouth with his other free hand, the blush creeping back up to his cheeks again at the thought of it again. 

_Goddess,_ did he really almost lose his composure like that?

Just remembering that moment makes his throat itch once more. Well, shit, he thinks. Seteth immediately runs off to who knows where, a place where he can cough the petals in peace.

His feet take him to the greenhouse, and on the soil where the actual camellia flowers lay, he spits out the red petals once more. Seteth looks in horror as he sees that it’s no longer one, or two, or three, or four petals, but rather _ten_ spill out from within. His eyes widen in horror at the sight.

_Shit._

❀

Once he finally had calmed down, Seteth leaves the greenhouse with his head in a daze. The image of the many petals that he had just coughed out to the soil haunt his mind. He didn’t expect it to reach the next stage already, but it’s already here and now he needed to be more careful around everyone, and especially the professor.

He suddenly hears the click clack of footsteps against the stony ground, and he composes himself quickly to see who is heading for the greenhouse at this time. The sun has already gone down, signalling the time of night, and the moon above glimmers in it’s heavenly glow amongst the stars. When Seteth squints his eyes to see who it was walking to his direction, he is surprised to see her of all people here.

“Oh, Seteth!” The shrill voice of Manuela calls for him and she waves her hand high up, “What a surprise to see you!”

“Hello, Manuela.” Seteth greets her with his serious facade, “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, I’m just taking a walk around here. The injured soldiers are all healed up now and took their prescribed medicines! So they’ll slowly be recovering now.”

“That’s good to hear.” Seteth nods.

“Hmm, yes. Say, Seteth?” Manuela gives him a sweet, sweet smile, and Seteth swears he can feel sweat trickling down his forehead at the fear of what Manuela is going to ask him to do, “Why don’t we have some dinner together? Not as a date or anything, I’m way out of your league since, you know... _Saint Cethleann._ But as our mini celebration for protecting Garreg Mach! What do you say?”

Seteth ponders over Manuela’s proposal. If he knew any better, he would absolutely refuse a chance to bond with her, but he figures he could use the company tonight. Even if he still can’t forgive Manuela for even thinking he _likes_ Saint Cethleann in _that way,_ when there’s more to it than Manuela realizes, maybe it won’t be that bad.

Hopefully.

They head to the dining hall together, and as the doors open, they are greeted by the usual boisterous noise of it. He can see some of the students of the dear professor running about or eating happily with their fellow comrades. He can spot Flayn in the corner, sitting down next to Byleth, Annette, Sylvain, and Felix, and seemingly to be in a deep discussion of sorts. Seteth smiles to himself, delighted to see his dearest sister (daughter) safe by Byleth’s side. They pick up their dinner from the front and take their seats in the nearest available spot. Nearby their table, he can see both Catherine and Shamir, chatting away together and laughing together as they eat their meals.

Manuela is mostly the one to do the talking throughout their meal, from her time in the Mittelfrank Opera Company, to her early days in the academy. Through their long conversations as dinner time passes by, Seteth can slowly admit to himself that her stories were rather interesting, and she was actually nice to spend time with during the off days.

The meal in front of Manuela quickly changes to a tall glass of the red wine made in the vineyards of this monastery. Seteth doesn’t drink himself, he rarely does anyway since he needs to put priority in his church work rather than a night of drowning oneself to alcohol. He can see the alcohol getting to the woman already getting to her. She’s only down to two drinks for goodness sake. Manuela is looking at him with _that look_ she always gives to the men and women she likes. Oh no.

“Come on, Manuela. Let’s take you back to your room.” Seteth speaks up to avoid her from saying whatever he’s very sure she will begin to say.

“What?! Nooo! Come on, Seteth! Stay~” She cooes to him, but Seteth just sighs disappointedly as he helps her up from her seat. 

Manuela isn’t _that_ drunk in all honesty, but Seteth can’t help but worry for her well-being and for anyone who may take advantage of her when she decides herself to return to her room for the night. Hence why he decides to accompany her at least. They walk back together for her room at a slow pace, with Seteth helping her when she would stumble in her steps on occasion. 

Upon reaching the door to her quarters, Seteth feels her tap on his shoulder, and he turns his head to see what is up with Manuela for her to call his attention.

“Thank you, Seteth…” Manuela says, grinning, “I’m sorry for being a bad date though~ I’m not the pretty Saint Cethleann that you admire so greatly.”

“Manuela, please, you were quite good company tonight.” Seteth reassures her, but Manuela’s expression doesn’t change.

“Oh, come on~ I’m sure if you were with her instead of me, you would be having a wonderful time together.”

“Manuela, I will say this again, but it’s fine. Really.” Seteth chides her, frustrated she wasn’t stopping her pointless apology.

“No, no, no! Seteth, please. I must have annoyed you, bored you to death even. I know I can never be her, that you don’t like me. But you like Saint Cethleann, right?”

“No!” Seteth explodes in anger, “I don’t love Cethleann like that, because the one I love is—”

His words are cut off from continuing, as once more, his throat itches and he coughs out the irritating petals from his lips and to his door. 

Seteth doesn’t hear the shocked gasp from Manuela as she watches the petals fall from his mouth, doesn’t see her the light in her eyes disappear or the sweat falling from her brow as he picks up the petals from the floor and crumple it in his hand. When Seteth turns back to face her however, he sees her expression full of anxiety. Manuela can feel the alcohol still seeping through her overall state of mind, but she’s clearly aware of what she had just witnessed, what just happened to Seteth.

He doesn’t realize how much it worries and hurts her to see him like this now.

“Since when…?” Manuela mumbles out, the tone from her inquiry full of worry.

“A month ago.” Seteth hears a quiet gasp from her, “It’s nothing, Manuela, surely—”

“Who?” Manuela inquires, her voice louder than she had intended for it to be.

“...Byleth.” Seteth sighs defeatedly.

“The professor?” Manuela gasps, “Does she know? Will you tell her? Or are you going to…”

“I have no plans to tell her.” Seteth crosses his arms, “I’ve decided to die with this secret. I think telling the professor my...true feelings towards her, is detrimental to the war. I vow to at least be by her side until my life expires.”

“No!” Manuela expresses her frustration at his decision, which shocks Seteth, “You need to confess to her, you absolutely must. You can’t, not like _her...”_

Seteth’s brows furrow at the implication of what was left unsaid by her, curious piqued, but even so, he’s still firmly sticking to his unsaid oath. So what if he dies anyway? It’s better for him to get off Byleth’s burden of never returning the same love he feels for her, as she does for him, without her ever knowing. He assures to himself that everything will be good in the end once he’s gone.

_Right?_

“I’m sorry, Manuela.” Seteth apologizes, “But I won’t ever, I have decided on it already. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” 

“No! Wait, Seteth!” Manuela calls out to him, but he’s already making his way to the stairs, completely avoiding her calls for him to return.

When he finally reaches his quarters, the door locked and his back leaning on the door, he sinks down to the floor and sighs in frustration. 

Great, now _one_ person knows his deepest secret, this disease he has that he wished to keep a secret from anyone. Seteth lightens the tight grip on his fist, revealing the now crumpled handful of red petals in his fist. He thinks of Byleth, her smile, her beautiful face, her mesmerizing (formerly purple) green eyes, and he huffs disappointedly. He can’t tell her anything, he absolutely _can’t._ His hand curls once more into a fist, crushing the red petals within.

“She doesn’t love me.” He mumbles to no one but himself, _“She doesn’t.”_

❀

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for a sorta late update than i expected! i got preoccupied with a lot of things (animal crossing), and it kinda made me forget to focus on writing this fic :')) but i'm back! 
> 
> thank you for reading~ the next update should be...Soon, hopefully. and ofc, kudos, comments, and the like are all appreciated!
> 
> feel free to follow me on twit as well! @neatocherries


	3. Feather Heartache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He decides to close his eyes and rest his head instead, clearly going nowhere with his thoughts going rampant about all these feelings. Seteth had a long day, participating in another bloody war in this war, getting his leg burnt, and now hearing Manuela’s story made his heart feel heavy and think back again on his own feelings, and the what-could-be and the what-is. It’s annoying how everyone this month has been out for him somehow, out for his feelings and telling him to just be honest, when it’s not exactly that simple.
> 
> Well, whatever, he can just think about it all later again anyway. There’s still time, anyway, and he’s sure that those camellias won’t come for him so soon, since they’re not yet in full bloom. 
> 
> _Hopefully._

❀

For the remainder of the month, Seteth does everything in his power to avoid Manuela.

Whenever he sees her walking to his direction, he purposely skids to his left or right so they wouldn’t come face to face with each other. When he hears the shrill tone of her voice, slowly becoming louder with each step, he immediately leaves for the opposite direction to avoid being in the same room with her presence. And on the weekdays, where Byleth holds her war meetings to discuss strategies for the upcoming battles, Seteth makes sure he stays from Manuela as much as possible. He’s really thankful Byleth hasn’t noticed anything yet, the rift slowly tearing apart between him and Manuela, and he hopes that it stays that way.

If anything, he’s really glad that Manuela hasn’t spilled the beans to anyone about his condition. And although he knows that she isn’t the type to gossip about something so personal and also endangering his life, her just knowing about it, just doesn’t sit well with him. It's supposed to be something kept a secret forever, buried deep in the depths of his heart by the flowers that will inevitably choke him to death. But no, his little slip up on the one night he decides to spend time with her of all people had led to her discovery of the disease plaguing him for almost two months now. When he dies, Manuela will be the only one who truly knows why he did, and he hates how guilty it makes him feel to know she might start blaming herself for it, for not trying to stop him because she knows how his death could have been prevented.

But Seteth _had_ to be stubborn, and he still is.

And the longer he doesn't budge, the more flowers he's going to cough out.

Since that night, the petals begin to spill out from within him in dozens or twenties, and every so often he would see a tiny flower bud amongst the bundle of red. A sign that his condition has worsened, Seteth remembers reading.

Even so, he remains unfazed in his resolve, determined to let the disease kill him. Even when every so often, he can never stop stealing glances to an unaware (and beautiful) Byleth, who he watches explain their strategy for the upcoming march to Ailell, the Valley of Torment with a tender expression. Although they would just be recruiting some soldiers, it wouldn’t hurt to stay prepared for a sudden attack. Seteth looks to the other direction quickly upon the realization of his own stupid action, a hand raised to his lips in case the petals might want to choke out of him again. From the corner of his eye, he can see Manuela staring at him with a somber expression.

 _Shit_ , Seteth thinks and turns again once more to Byleth, whose back is now turned to the audience and her focus fixated on the blackboard in front of her, illustrating what the positions of their allies would be taking up with the chalk in her hand.

Internally, he lets out an exasperated sigh, disappointed how easily he's become so struck with Byleth still and how Manuela can catch his weakened moments so quickly. He just hopes no one else will ever find out about it, not especially Flayn, and most especially not Byleth.

❀

The mission to Ailell comes and goes, and though they had been ambushed by the soldiers of House Rowe just as they were about to meet with Judith’s army, they were able to defeat them and make negotiations with the Hero of Daphnel. Byleth was even able to recruit Ashe, another one of her fellow students she had found amongst the enemy troops, and those who knew him were overjoyed to see that he had joined their ranks.

Along with some of the Alliance troops, they had received word that Rhea is being imprisoned in the Empire, as well as a letter from Claude. Together with the additional troops and confirmation of Rhea’s, Seteth and Byleth devise a plan to invade the Great Bridge of Myrddin, not only as a way to gain the upper hand against the Empire, but based from the contents of Claude’s letter, House Gloucester would be unable to receive aid from the Empire and would help Claude aid in the restoration of the Alliance. How Claude somehow planned ahead about this strategy was beyond them, but it was a good deal no matter how they see it.

With their goal finally in sight, albeit still faraway, the war meetings and training become longer and more time consuming. The hours of planning multiple strategies to determine what is best to do, and even more hours of training with their strengths and polishing up their weaknesses, is slowly taking a toll in Seteth’s state. And what even more with his condition of the Flower Storm, though the effects remain stagnant once again, he finds it harder and harder to hide his sickness from everyone. He sees himself out of the training and the meetings far too often now, making excuses that he needs to take care of some quick personal business or taking a trip to the lavatory, when in reality it’s because he needs to cough out the petals that suffocate his throat. 

Seteth always makes his way to the most inconspicuous areas of the monastery, where he can freely let the petals and the occasional flower buds spill from his lips. It hurts to cough them now, hurts to feel them as it scratches his throat like it’s angry, wanting to be let out. Like his own feelings, always fighting to be heard, only to be held back by that one singular thought in his mind echoing to him a confession will be a bad idea.

Once his coughing fit dies down, he wipes away the saliva trailing down from the side of his lips and tries to fix himself up to look presentable, and either heads backs to the meeting or for his office where he can have some time to himself, without the pressure of someone else catching him with the curse.

After one particular day, with the war meeting earlier than expected, Seteth decides to head for the library, where he can read up on war strategies from the past so he can (supposedly) contribute something to Byleth later on. He makes way for it in a slow pace, and once he reaches the library, he immediately picks up every history book he knows will help and pours himself deep into its words, but it’s less like a way to gain knowledge for later use and more of a distraction from the buzzing thoughts in his mind.

Hours pass and Seteth doesn’t realize that he had fallen asleep midway through his reading. He awakens to a rather tough hand tap on his shoulder. He stirs awake groggily, wondering who had decided to disturb him.

His sleepy, green eyes turn to find wide, sky blue eyes staring back at him, and the moment they make eye contact, the person in front of him makes a bewildered gesture. He turns to the side, and Seteth can see that someone else is standing there. His eyes squint, hoping to see who it is in front of him, and just as he recognizes who they are, the person who had found him speaks up with his signature loud voice.

“Linhardt! It’s Seteth, he’s awake!” Caspar exclaims to him, one hand shaking the long, green-haired man’s shoulder frantically, while the other points to the just woken up Seteth.

“Yes, I can see that.” Linhardt responds, sounding uninterested. But Seteth can see that his hand is raised to his chin and his head tilted slightly to the sight, which is an obvious sign of his piqued interest over Seteth. He’s probably wondering why he had fallen asleep, they both know it is unusual for someone like Seteth to sleep in the _library_ of all places.

“Linhardt, Caspar, I’m sorry that you must see me like this.” Seteth apologizes as he starts picking up the numerous books sprawled on the table. Caspar immediately heads next to Seteth, and Linhardt reluctantly as well, and they both help him pick up the other books.

“Please don’t apologize, Seteth. You look tired, let me help!” Caspar exclaims enthusiastically.

Seteth thanks him and Linhardt for their help in carrying the other books he could no longer hold in his arms, and they walk together in a slow pace to his office. While on their way, Seteth had asked Caspar how his training was, which resulted in a long, passionate talk from Caspar about the training regime he had been using since coming to the monastery. While Caspar talked on and on, Linhardt was listening to him intently, and Seteth could see a hint of a smile curved on his lips. He knew they were close, but he can see through this brief moment together that despite Linhardt’s laid back demeanor, he cared greatly about Caspar and his interests.

Eventually, they made it to Seteth’s office. Seteth opens the door quietly and he hears a small gasp from behind him as Caspar sees his somewhat messy desk, filled with various parchments and towers of books. He signals Caspar and Linhardt to place the books at the corner of his desk, stacking up together like a small tower.

“Thank you two for your help,” Seteth faces them with a smile, and when he turns back to his desk, he lets out a loud yawn which goes unnoticed by the two, “Now I shall return to my work.”

“Wait, wait, Seteth! You’re obviously tired, y’know? You need to get some rest.” Caspar scolds him, “You’re already yawning, you need some sleep.”  
  
“I assure you, Caspar, I’m fine.” Seteth reassures him, but the way his sleepy eyes try it’s best to stay awake while looking at Caspar defies his words.

Caspar grumbles lowly under his breath, “Nah, you’re not. I can see it in your eyes, it’s the same look Linhardt gets when he’s reading a really good book. He wants to keep going, but he’s obviously getting sleepy. And whenever I see him like that, I don’t know, I...I just don’t want to see you overwork yourself like him. You deserve to rest too, you know?”

“I’m right here, Caspar.” Linhardt speaks up from behind.

“Yeah, but I’m right!” Caspar turns to face him, an angry pout on his face, “I see you sleeping in the most random places, so I have to carry you back to your room. I don’t really mind though, because I care a lot about you.”

Linhardt just sighs, “Yeah, yeah...me too.” 

Seteth isn’t really sure what to do in this situation, but from what he can see, the two young men in front of him have a very strong bond, and he knows that it’s something much more than a mere friendship, a mere companionship from one to another, but simply...love. It wasn’t even the cheesy or sappy romance everyone wishes to achieve, but it was still a form of love that Seteth knows, can sense deep inside his heart, that this love was something stronger than any power the Crests can hold.

“Anyway, we should get going!” Caspar’s booming voice interrupts Seteth’s thoughts, and he sees that the two are already making their way out of the door. He sees Caspar waving at him happily, “See you, Seteth! And please, take some time off, alright?”

Caspar disappears out of the door and Linhardt follows him from behind. But he stops midway from the exit, his hand resting on the door handle and his face looking oddly...contemplative. Linhardt turns his head to face Seteth, a serious look on his face but also one of...concern.

“Seteth,” Linhardt speaks softly, “I’m not...sure if I’m reading this right, but...I can tell that you’re going through a lot right now.”

Seteth remains quiet, feeling his palms sweating as Linhardt continues to talk.

“But...I think, whatever you’re dealing with, you need to resolve it soon. If you do, I believe good things will come from it. If not, well...I don’t think it’s going to end well.” Linhardt turns back to face the exit again, “That’s all. Sorry for intruding, but I hope you will be alright.”

And he’s out of Seteth’s office, leaving behind a very quiet and heavy hearted Seteth. He leans against the edge of his desk, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed as Linhardt’s words echo in his head.

Linhardt was always an oddly perceptive character, and the words he had just spoken to Seteth moments ago just continues to prove that Linhardt being like _that_ was correct. But for him to say he needs to resolve it...was he referring to the fact that he must confess his feelings to her? That...can’t really be the solution, right?

“Great, now the students...or, well, former students are worrying about me now.” Seteth mumbles to himself, turning back to his desk to clean it up. He can feel his throat itch once again, and _goddess does it hurt_. 

At least he didn’t cough out flowers in front of Caspar and Linhardt, he didn’t need them to know. Manuela is already enough, what more from those two.

❀

Even with Caspar’s advice to rest and stop working for a bit, Seteth spends the next day cooped up in his office, working away. But he’s made significant progress at least, the pile of books deteriorating to only one fourths from its original height. As he works, the petals and flowers continue to claw its way up from his throat every so often. He keeps a basket near his side, intended to be used to store the blossoms he would cough out.

From his window, he can see the sun slowly come down from the horizon, signalling the return of the moon that’s soon to come. After writing a particularly long letter intended for one of the branches of the Church at the north, Seteth turns around to see that the sun is only halfway down already. At the same time, he feels the low rumble of his stomach, indicating that he was very hungry now and he needed sustenance. 

Sighing as his hunger means that he has to leave his office to satisfy it, he begrudgingly fixes himself up and hides the basket of petals and flowers under his desk, before making his way to the dining hall in a quick pace. 

Since it isn’t the usual time for dinner, Seteth isn’t surprised to see that the dining hall is practically empty upon his arrival. He quickly picks up his tray of food and takes a seat at the far corner of the hall, secluded and not easy to spot so no one will bother him. But he eats his own words quickly, as he hears footsteps coming up from behind him. He turns around to see Dorothea and Ingrid chatting away, trays of food in hand. Their eyes lock to his, and Dorothea’s eyes immediately light up and she grabs Ingrid’s hand in haste. They both rush up to Seteth, with sincere smiles on their faces.

“Hello, Seteth!” Dorothea starts, “Would you mind if we eat dinner with you?”

Seteth really doesn’t want company right now, but the words that spill out to them says otherwise, “I don’t mind, go ahead.”

They smile at his approval and take their seats in front of him, and start to make small chatter between themselves and sometimes with Seteth. Seteth isn’t feeling talkative, so he’s happy just watching them talking amongst themselves, having fun.

Despite his strict facade towards everyone, mostly the (former) students, he truly does care a lot about them. He likes it when they come to him for advice on something or when they simply want to spend time with him. There isn’t really a big underlying reason why he does, except that he simply likes the time spent with them, and in turn, he wants to know and bond with them more.

And the same could be said now, as he watches Dorothea and Ingrid chat away about mundane things. Practically everyone in the monastery by now knows that both Ingrid and Dorothea are more than friends, that their relationship is deeper than a platonic companionship, that they hold hands and sometimes sneak a kiss or two during the war meetings or training sessions. Seteth is proud to see them together, smiling and happy in each other’s presence. It’s really sweet, and honestly, it reminds Seteth a little of an old romance of his once upon a time.

Nothing could ever change what had happened, he knows that already. But right now, there is something...more worrying that he has to face, particularly about his feelings for a certain professor.

“Hey, Seteth~” The sweet voice of Dorothea snaps him out of his thoughts, and Seteth looks up to Dorothea immediately. Her eyebrows raise a little at the sight of his far too quick action, and Seteth can’t help but think, _shit_ , she probably can sense something. But the smile on her remains sweet and unchanging, “How are things for you, hm? I’m actually curious, but are you interested in anyone right now?”

Seteth chokes at that, hand raised to cover his mouth and look away from the couple in front of him. Well, he had given such a dead giveaway, and now he can’t turn back time to change the outcome of the situation as he sees the light in Dorothea’s eyes sparkle. She rests her arm on the table, chin resting on her hand, and smiles at Seteth oh-so-sweetly.

“Oh my, dear Seteth, so who is the lucky person?” Dorothea asks.

“I...I cannot say, and even if I did tell you, I cannot tell them my feelings.” Seteth replies to her inquiry, firm in his resolve already.

“Why not?” Dorothea frowns, her head tilted to the side with concern.

“Dorothea...please,” There’s a hint of dread in his voice, “I _cannot_ burden them with my feelings.”

Dorothea scoffs at that, “Oh Seteth, dear, _please_ do not fret over it. It’s perfectly alright to desire for some romance, after all.”

She says that, and yet...and yet, yet, _yet_ , there’s that nagging voice at the back of his head saying that a confession would just be detrimental to their relationship. That there are too many dangers, too many negatives to loving someone right here, right now. There’s a war going on, the person he loves is their leader, who wouldn’t hold herself back to sacrifice for their cause, who would only see him as a mere companion, her advisor, throughout this perilous journey together.

That’s what the voice says, but would it be alright if he let himself want something for once?

“Seteth,” He hears another voice, and his head turns to see Ingrid, who looks at him with a worried expression, “I...may not be the best person to come to for romantic advice, but I agree. It’s nice to want something for yourself every once in a while. Seteth, I may not know what’s wrong with you now, but I would advise to take her advice to heart. Let her help you, just as you have helped me.”

His thoughts fall back to his and Ingrid’s conversations, how she had asked him for advice about her father, about how he had wanted to marry her off to someone with a Crest for the betterment of their house. Seteth had advised her to just follow her heart instead, carve a path for herself instead of at the instruction of someone else’s.

 _Follow your heart, what it desires_. How ironic he could say such words to Ingrid, when he couldn’t apply it to himself.

“...I see.” Seteth simply says, and he bites the last piece of his meal. He stands up from his seat, facing the two women with a smile on his face, “You both certainly made me think. And for that, thank you, Dorothea, Ingrid.”

Dorothea returns a smile, “I sense the gears of your head turning already, I hope we helped you, somehow.”

Seteth nods and starts to walk away to return his tray to the kitchen staff. From the corner of his eye, he can see the couple fall back to another conversation now. He smiles to himself, perhaps sitting with them wasn’t exactly a bad idea after all. 

The doubts in his mind had certainly decreased, no longer clouding his senses as much as before. Perhaps the flowers had affected his thought of train a little, but even with their advice, he remains unsure of what to do now.

Well, he can still think about it. There’s still enough time anyway, before the flowers blanket him to an eternal sleep.

❀

Seteth’s leg stings really, _really_ bad.

The Battle of Myrddin had just ended, with their victory gratefully. Ladislava and Acheron are dead, and Lorenz is at their side, but at the cost of some of their troops’ lives. It was a very hard fought battle, with both soldiers from the Empire and their allies from the Alliance, as well as some Demonic Beasts in tow, but...they made it.

Most of them had accumulated an injury, however. He spits Ferdinand, Caspar, and Linhardt have a few gashes in their armor, Petra and Hilda have burn wounds on their arms, and Felix and Dorothea are limping, their one leg aching with each step they take. Thankfully, Flayn didn’t take any major injuries, remaining generally unscatched.

For Seteth, he received a rather nasty burn on his leg, taken from a strong fire spell by one of the Empire’s wizard soldiers. It had also hit the side of his wyvern, but thankfully it wasn’t bad as his own burn since his leg had blocked it.

The moment Byleth had spotted him when they reunited from the battle, she had immediately brought him to Manuela, carrying him in her arms as they tried to find the songstress amongst their troops. Seteth could feel his cheeks burn to the familiar red as Byleth carried him around. He knows she’s strong, but not _this_ strong enough to carry him around so easily. Seteth’s right arm clings around Byleth’s neck for support, fearful she could just drop him suddenly, but she looks like she didn’t have any problem at all and Seteth is glad and quite amazed she still has this much strength after an intense battle.

Byleth eventually finds Manuela, who had just finished setting up a makeshift infirmary with one of the big tents they had brought along. She sets Seteth down to the first cot she sees inside the tent, and instructs Manuela to use her magic to at least subside the pain on Seteth’s burn

“I hope you feel better soon, Seteth.” Byleth smiles at him, and she leaves the tent, leaving him with Manuela for her to treat his burn.

Manuela is quiet throughout the process, letting cool water douse over his burn, and Seteth just watches her. They don’t say anything to each other, letting their silence sift through the atmosphere. When she finishes, she takes out a cream of sorts and applies it gently on his burn. Seteth hisses at the touch, but he remains calm as more is applied. Afterwards, she wraps a bandage over his wound, and raising a hand over his injury, mumbles a small incantation over his burn for a minute. Seteth can feel the pain from the burn subside, it still hurts, but not as much as before the treatment thankfully.

“...Manuela, thank you.” Seteth speaks up finally after Manuela finishes her treatment, and he hears Manuela make a small giggle.

“You’re welcome.” Manuela replies back, and she takes a seat at the edge of Seteth’s cot. Her eyes stare at the tent’s entrance, waiting for more patients to come in case they do, but she supposes they’re being treated in the other infirmary tents.

They stay quiet once again, with Seteth unsure of what to say. But before he can say anything, he hears Manuela take a deep breath and his eyes turn to face her.

“...You know, she cares a lot about you.” Manuela starts, “I won’t be surprised if she likes you back.”

“...Probably.” Seteth replies, “...Um, Manuela, before you say anything else...please, let me apologize to you for avoiding you for the past two months.”

Manuela scoffs at that, pouting as she gives Seteth a glare, “It’s bad to be rude to a lady, you know, Seteth? Everytime I want to talk to you, about anything! Not just your...problem, you always run away. It makes me sad.”

Then her lips curve to her signature sweet smile, “But...it’s alright, I suppose. I won’t easily forgive you for that, but we, or well, _you_ can make amends.”

Seteth smiles, “I guess that’s fine, I’ll treat you to something if you want.”

“I would like that.” Manuela giggles, “I’ll hold you to that, okay?”

They laugh at that, and for a moment, they kind of forget that they’re still in a war, and that one of them is dying from a curse that makes him cough up flowers. Their laughter dies down after a while, letting silence take over the atmosphere once more before Manuela decides to pop in a rather curious question.

“Seteth, please tell me...do you really plan to not tell _her_ your feelings?”

“...Honestly, I don’t know anymore.” Seteth speaks up, “The past few days, I’ve...had some sense snapped back to me, and it made me think a lot.”

Manuela nods, “I see. Would you...like to hear a story?”

Seteth nods, curious as to her sudden shift to topic, but he knows Manuela by now, knows that there’s going to be something in her story related to this.

“Very well,” Manuela only smiles, but it’s also a kind of sad smile, “...There was once...a young lady who was loved by all in the opera, her voice attracted the people from thousands of miles away. And from behind the curtains, hiding away from the stage, was another young lady who loved her the most. She wasn’t anyone super special like an actress or songstress, but her talent truly shines from the set, props, and costumes we wear. And her artworks outside of the stage, oh how they were beautiful. She was hired by many nobles to make portraits of them, and how great she was in being able to capture the details of each of them.

“Her name was Eliza, and she...died, surrounded by a garden of roses.”

Seteth could only hold his breath as she finally spoke those words he had wished he didn’t hear. Somehow, he knew it would end tragically, but the death... _a garden of roses_...could it be?

“She loved you, didn’t she?”

Manuela could only nod, “Yes. That lady, she was...my dearest best friend. And she died, because she loved me and never told me about it in the last months of her life.”

“Did you ever love her back?” That was the question, wasn’t it?

Manuela scoffs at the inquiry, and Seteth could see her eyes almost watering. Oh, _oh_ , “Of course I did. I never understood why she thought I never did, because I always doted on her. Hah, the one time I could have had a chance of love, and it ends...like that.”

She wipes away her watery eyes and stands up from her seat, her face away from Seteth so he wouldn’t see the despaired look on her face remembering an old, painful memory. The memory of holding her could-have-been love, dying in her arms as the roses suffocate the air out of her lungs. Eliza’s hand outstretched the tear-filled face of Manuela, mumbling out an “I’m sorry,” before her life expired, and too late for Manuela to scream out to her a hundred times that she always loved her.

When Manuela finally regains a bit of composure, she turns back to face Seteth. Gone is the usual sweet face she usually gives to all, and out comes Manuela all serious and hardened from the years of pain and guilt over the death of her love.

“That’s why, Seteth, you...must tell Byleth how you feel. I do not want you to end up like _her_ , I don’t want to see another person die by the hands of the Flower Storm. Or at least get surgery, for the goddess’ sake.” She scolds him, anger evident in her voice.

Seteth just turns his head away from facing her, “No, a surgery is too risky for me.”

Manuela looks confused, “...Why?”

“I’ll tell you, Manuela. One day.” Is all Seteth can say.

They stay quiet once again for a brief moment, before Manuela just nods, “Well, I’ll be sure to remember that. But, seriously, Seteth...please, tell her that you love her. I think, no _I know_ , that she loves you too.”

She pats his shoulder and gives him one last smile, before leaving him and his thoughts alone in the infirmary tent. 

Left alone now, Seteth sits quietly on the cot and ponders over Manuela’s story, replaying what she had told him again and again. It made him remember that if he decides to keep silent of his feelings, he will die by the hands of the camellias that suffocate him, and both Byleth and Flayn would be mortified of his death. He doesn’t like the thought of seeing their somber faces, but all his moping and silence over his own feelings is certainly going to lead up to that if he does nothing.

But then again, his thoughts fall back to Byleth and the possibility of her not returning the same feelings he has for her. Seteth isn’t scared of the rejection, but the guilt that might come from Byleth later on when she realizes that he will die because she can never reciprocate those feelings.

There are just too many positives and negatives about this, and Seteth hates how he over thinks about it all. 

All this thinking makes his throat itch once again, and he quickly coughs out two handfuls of red camellias once more, like he’s so used to it already (which he is). He stares at the bundle of camellias in his hand, dyed in red like blood, and sighs exasperatedly, before bunching up the flowers for it to fit in his pocket.

He decides to close his eyes and rest his head instead, clearly going nowhere with his thoughts going rampant about all these feelings. Seteth had a long day, participating in another bloody war in this war, getting his leg burnt, and now hearing Manuela’s story made his heart feel heavy and think back again on his own feelings, and the what-could-be and the what-is. It’s annoying how everyone this month has been out for him somehow, out for his feelings and telling him to just be honest, when it’s not exactly that simple.

Well, whatever, he can just think about it all later again anyway. There’s _still_ time, anyway, and he’s sure that those camellias won’t come for him so soon, since they’re not yet in full bloom. 

_Hopefully._

❀

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii I'M SORRY THIS IS LIKE. WAY OVERDUE. a lot happened since i last updated, but...it's finally here! WE'RE FINALLY HALFWAY!!!! thank you for your patience!!
> 
> sorry there wasn't that _much_ setleth for this particular chapter, i wanted to give a lot of focus for this chap towards seteth and his relationships w/ other characters, so i hope i conveyed that well!
> 
> anyway, thank u for reading again! kudos and comments and the like are rlly appreciated!
> 
> u can also find me on twitter: @rhythmlinkP

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! the next chapter should be up (hopefully) in a week or earlier if i'm not lazy LOL. also the 4 chapters thing is mainly tentative...i may increase/decrease it depending on if end up writing more or less of what i want for the fic LMAO
> 
> kudos, bookmarks, comments, and the like are highly appreciated! thank u and see u in the next chapter~
> 
> also feel free to follow my twit, lets talk a lot about fe3h and setleth pls! @neatocherries


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